Yesterday, I was sitting in a coffee shop with my coach. After talking strategy, our conversation shifted to why I feel the need to hide myself and my content… . We talked about why I am still seem to be so unaware of how to be fully vulnerable. She said it was evident that there is a wildness within me that is anxious to be seen… And because I am so unafraid of my own darkness, I always dive deep when she asks me these questions. I am never afraid to let her in on the deep things I carry… Like the belief that I have to be a good girl or I won’t get what I want. Growing up where I felt like I could never speak my truth, I still feel the need to be quiet myself. I still feel the need to follow “the rules” or I won’t get what I want. I can hear echoes of teachers, professors, parents, friends, employers one after another telling me to tone it down… Telling me to not be so different, to grow up, to be realistic. And while tearing up in the middle of this very public coffee shop, a man approached us. In this middle of this rawness, he asked to share with us his story. . Nervous and feeling that this was some kind of divine timing, I agreed that we would listen. For over 800 days, this man has been meeting people and sharing his story of PTSD. A few years ago, people broke into his apartment in downtown Phoenix, raped, and sexually assaulted him… And while dealing with the trauma and having suicidal thoughts, one night he turned on the television and happened to hear a joke that made him laugh on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert. In that moment, he vowed to go on the show. He vowed to change his story into something good. And for 800 days full time, he has been walking around, sharing his trauma, and asking for people to sign his boards leaving words of encouragement for him… . And in a moment of rawness when I needed to hear evidence that vulnerability makes you stronger and bigger than you could ever imagine, Blake arrived exactly on time.
I got tired of one day. It didn’t fill me up. It didn’t excite me and honestly it made me feel kind of sad. So I shifted. I chose day one. Suddenly, life is a hell of a lot more interesting. What will you choose ? #alignedandrising